He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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