he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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