that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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