I forgot how hot balto sounded
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
