May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i think i have two assholes
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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