i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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