You're completely useless in the revolution.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
