I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
