didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
