I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
