:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
