I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
