walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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