Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
