As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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