That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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