Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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