My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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