You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
