I love having hate sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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