is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
