i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
