Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
