**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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