he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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