So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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