I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just tell him i said nine months
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We left the knife in your bed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
