Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
