im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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