Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
being pregnant is like rehab
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
