we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
