he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
