What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
