Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donβt have to recycle anymore ππ
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
