If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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