youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
