How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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