I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
