this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
