This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
