She said her name was "party"
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
