No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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