Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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