Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Randomize
