He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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