I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
