okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
