Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Nicole vs. Life
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
