Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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