Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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