You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Everclear isn't food dammit
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
